Motivational Monday: My transition through motherhood
If you are lucky enough to have children of your own, most likely your day yesterday was spent with lots of family time. For us we spent the day entertaining our families and both of our mothers, for a wonderful (and yummy) cookout. As I now have my own family, my mother and mine’s relationship over the years means so much more. The decisions that my parents made finally don’t feel like they were made by an extraterrestrial. Over the last week I have shared with you other women’s stories and fan features that are geared towards women and their roles as mothers. For today’s Motivational Monday I wanted to share with you my story.
My childhood was filled with a lot of just my mom and me. My parents divorced when I was young, and I spent most of my time with my mom. While we had many struggles, as my mom was working hard to provide us with a good life, I don’t remember all the bad times as much as I do the good. My mom was my best friend. I remember back to one of our first apartments that was a single bedroom, basically a two room space. While we didn’t have much there, those are still some of my best memories. Spending the nights, sleeping with my mom, were always the best. These years prove to me that you don’t have to have everything to have something. Money wasn’t plentiful but that didn’t stop us from having great bonding time. As I went through elementary school, my mom was still “cool.” I remember the times of her coming to eat lunch with me and I was as proud as a peacock to have my mom there. As I got older I didn’t realize that these years were going to slip away into times of struggles with my mom. I wish I had more of the simpler times.
Pre-Teen and Teenage Years
My mom is officially uncool. Cue the years of her dropping me off around the block from the school to not be seen with her. She has taken the role of “the meanest mom in school.” I believe I spent more time grounded than un-grounded. We definitely lost the cuddly times we had just had the year prior. It was as if you went from 5th grade to 6th and this magical time machine made you hate your parents. Suddenly they knew nothing, about anything, and were out to destroy your reputation. This relationship would carry into high school but finally there would start to be a light at the end of the tunnel, and we had breakthroughs of “this is alien trying to be my friend or is she tricking me?” High school could not be over soon enough for me.
College and Graduate
Going onto college for me wasn’t scary, it was more of a relief to be having my own freedom. My mom was starting to go back to being my friend and the person I needed when times were rough. I made my way through college and clinical work with the support my mom. I found myself starting to want to hang out with my mom just because I enjoyed being around her. As graduation neared, the role of my mom was back on a level of friendship.
After graduation our relationship only grew stronger. As high school friendships faded away and new ones were forming, my mom was my constant. I found myself calling her to go on shopping trips instead of friends. My mom was the first person I wanted to call when I had either good news or bad. For the first time in a long time, I was forgetting all the struggles we went through and was focusing on the new times together.
As I was settling into my new career, I was planning my wedding, and embarking on all new adventures. I found myself having difficulties of saying who my “best friend” was without immediately thinking of my mother. Our relationship was great and only growing deeper.
I always knew I wanted children and even more so, my husband and I knew we wanted children soon after marrying. It didn’t take us long to get pregnant and start a family of our own. The feeling of getting ready to have a child of my own was indescribable. You hear about having your own children and childbirth but it was definitely not something you could totally be prepared for. Through our almost 9 years of marriage, I have had a c-section, a miscarriage, and two VBACS. It is amazing what our bodies can do for us. I look at my children now and know that my legacy will continue. I know our stories will continue to be told for generations beyond what I will see.
The funny thing about parenting is that I can feel the cycle of my mother’s relationship and mine starting all over again with my children. My oldest son is seven and while we still have wonderful times together, I can start to feel the shift in the dynamic of our relationship. While it makes me sad, I know that better times are ahead for us.
Being a mother is more challenging than anything else I have ever done. Nothing can prepare you for the emotions you will feel, the struggles you will endure, and the joys that watching your children’s first will bring you. As I watch friends that are no longer lucky enough to have their mothers in their lives or still alive, it makes me incredibly sad for them, and makes me cherish my relationships even more.
Even though Mother’s Day only comes around once a year, don’t wait to let the mothers in your life know how special they are. Be sure to stop and spend the time with your children and let them know how much you love them. Cherish the times that you have together and even through the hard times, know that better ones are right around the corner. Today I will leave you with this quote: